Bloreankim515's Blog

Sloppy Fat

bloreankim515 — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 16:06:12 +0000

I used to be a stick…seriously. My parents used to worry I was anorexic or would check for my finger and the back of my throat for signs of bulimia (forced vomiting…gross.). I’ve always loved food. Just back then it never stuck with me. I was a dancer and a runner. I loved being outside. My metabolism was incredible. 107 was a little light for me, but when I started college I got up to 115, still running, but was not as active. I loved being 115. I ate what I wanted, but I ran nightly and went to the gym pretty often.
Sadly, I hit a bump in the road my junior year of college. The jerky ex boyfriend was entertaining thoughts of cheating on me, but we stuck together. And I gained weight. I don’t know if I was….well yeah, I guess I was suffering a slight depression. Like why wasn’t I good enough. Sure I’m not a blond, blue-eyed white girl, but hell, I’m different! You know, and I’m pretty cute. So why go to the typical??
Anyhow, I bloated up like a balloon (to me). Most people would consider my weight ok, average, cause I’m pretty proportioned and my butt is really cute says my boyfriend. But I think 135 is way too much for me. And I’m so sick of comparing myself to the little skinny girls that guys constantly drool over.
Now I’m on a mission. A true mission. Hopefully this time I won’t quit 20 pounds is my goal. I really want to get back to my 115. I’d be thrilled there. So eating less and eating healthier. And regular exercise. Now that its starting to be pretty outside, I should take my dogs on runs. I have to do it. 115…here I go.

To love or not to love

bloreankim515 — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 14:29:01 +0000

Valentine’s day is rapidly approaching. Single’s Awareness day is typically the alternative name for those who are single. I am actually looking forward to it, for the first time in about 6 years. I’m not looking for gifts or anything materialistic like that, but I am looking forward to actually having a good day, no arguing, no complaining…just love. I’m in love! I thought I was in love with my ex who I dated for 7 years, but have come to realize that I may have had love for him, but I was definitely not IN love with him. I was his caregiver. He never had money (which is not why we broke up), he was a heavy drinker, who popped xanex and valium, had no goals, worked at the local movie store, stayed up late playing video games…all of these things I willingly endured. Because he was my first, I felt compelled to stick around. I thought that was love. Then, after I found out he was cheating on me with this blonde bimbo (and I’m serious about the bimbo part…quite dense. They were a match made from Movie Gallery ), I couldn’t deal with it anymore. Who does that to another person? Anyway, to make a long story short, we broke up. I didn’t wait around long to hop into another relationship, because I was already crazy about my best friend. He has shown me what true love should feel like. It should be reciprocated. It should be equal love and caring, and devotion to one another. Trust is really hard to come by, but he has my heart. He’s had it for a while now. He is My Valentine.

So to those of you without a special someone, know he or she is out there for you.

Don’t settle for the one you think you love. If he or she isn’t showing you love that you deserve the way you feel you deserve it, leave him or her. Because there is someone who will be there for you the way you want. NEVER settle for second best, because the one you love, or think you love, WILL NEVER CHANGE!!!!!

Anyhow, I have a really busy couple of days so I’ll check back in after the weekend.

Smooches!

The Blorean Nation

bloreankim515 — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 16:11:31 +0000

To start off, let me explain my blog name.

Some of you may know what blorean means, and some of you may not. Blorean=Black/Korean. That’s me. I am both. Combined. The first time I heard this term, I wasn’t quite sure how to take it. I was at a “pub” eating cheesy waffle fries, sitting next to a reeking drunk redneckish girl. She leaned over to me and said, “Hey! You’ve got beautiful mocha color skin.” Then she leaned over to her friend and said “its Mocha right…mohhhh-ka”. Then back to me she said “I bet I know what you are.” (As if I’m not human…a female…a person, right?) “You’re Blorean.” At that moment, my then-boyfriend who was in the middle of a swig of beer, chuckles as he tried to keep his beer from shooting out of his nose. I just looked at her, wide-eyes. Immediately I noticed the sincerity in this drunk blonde who was smiling her bubbly, beer drenched smile towards me. She said that she has a gorgeous guy friend who is also black/korean and said that she wished that she was because we’re the most beautiful people. Hmm…so. I’m blorean. BUT I would only consider myself average.

My background is so troubled, and it has a lot to do with my race. I just never really fit in. Everyone said “oh Kim, you’re so pretty” blah blah blah, but I was always too black for the white kids (mostly the guys I found attractive) or not black enough for the black kids in school (except for the black guys I found attractive…I was JUST RIGHT haha). So I’ve struggled with who I am. Still do a little bit. That’s why I’ve decided to embrace the BLOREAN nationality. It’s who I am.

Hello world!

bloreankim515 — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 15:26:44 +0000

I have arrived!

Ha! I like to think that someone somewhere will be interested in the nothingness of my life. I will randomly post my thoughts, feelings, and some of my crazy doings. Don’t let me get you too excited, because I’m really quite the home-body. You might laugh, you might cry…or you might get bored and never return. Either way, I’m me, and you’ll hopefully get to know me through this blog.

Anyhow, welcome! And I hope that you stick around. More later. I have to get to “work”.